Science Fair Project Encyclopedia
Arthur Guiterman
Arthur Guiterman (November 20, 1871 - January 11, 1943) was an American writer best known for his humorous poems.
He was born of American parents in Vienna and graduated from the College of the City of New York in 1891. He was an editor of the Woman's Home Companion and the Literary Digest . Beginning in 1907 and continuing for the rest of his life, he was the author of over a dozen collections of poems, including:
- Betel Nuts, What They Say In Hindustan (1907)
- The Laughing Muse (1915)
- The Light Guitar (1923)
- Wildwood Fables (1927)
- Gaily the Troubadour (1936)
He cofounded the Poetry Society of America in 1910.
Example stanzas
The following are excerpts from his poems:
Don't tell your friends about your indigestion.
"How are you" is a greeting, not a question.
Commute with me, my Love, and be merry;
How vain in the City to dwell
When apple-trees blow in Dobbs' Ferry
And lilacs adorn New Rochelle!
White Plains is the Garden of Allah
And Pelham's the Pearl of the Sea;
There's bliss in the name of Valhalla —
Oh, fly to the Suburbs with me!
The tusks that clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.
The grizzly bear whose potent hug
Was feared by all, is now a rug.
Great Caesar’s bust is on my shelf,
And I don’t feel so well myself.
First dentistry was painless;
Then bicycles were chainless
And carriages were horseless
And many laws, enforceless.
Soon oranges were seedless,
The putting green was weedless,
The college boy hatless,
The proper diet, fatless,
Now motor roads are dustless,
The latest steel is rustless,
Our tennis courts are sodless,
Our new religions, godless.
Amoebas at the start
Were not complex;
They tore themselves apart
And started Sex.
External link
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