The Mallard Song is a notorious tradition of All Souls College, Oxford. It is sung once a century in a ceremony in which the Fellows parade around the College with flaming torches, led by a "Lord Mallard" who is carried in a chair, in search of a giant mallard that supposedly flew out of the foundations of the college when it was being built in 1437. The procession is led by an individual carrying a duck - originally dead, now just wooden - tied to the end of a vertical pole. The ceremony was last held in 2001.

The song

The words of the song are as follows:

The Griffine, Bustard, Turkey & Capon

Lett other hungry Mortalls gape on

And on theire bones with Stomacks fall hard,

But lett All Souls' Men have ye Mallard.

CHORUS:

Hough the bloud of King Edward,

By ye bloud of King Edward,

It was a swapping, swapping mallard!

Some storys strange are told I trow

By Baker, Holinshead & Stow

Of Cocks & Bulls, & other queire things

That happen'd in ye Reignes of theire Kings.

CHORUS

The Romans once admir'd a gander

More than they did theire best Commander,

Because hee saved, if some don't foolle us,

The place named from ye Scull of Tolus.

CHORUS

The Poets fain'd Jove turn'd a Swan,

But lett them prove it if they can.

To mak't appeare it's not att all hard:

Hee was a swapping, swapping mallard.

CHORUS

Hee was swapping all from bill to eye,

Hee was swapping all from wing to thigh;

His swapping tool of generation

Oute swapped all ye wingged Nation.

CHORUS

Then lett us drink and dance a Galliard

in ye Remembrance of ye Mallard,

And as ye Mallard doth in Poole,

Lett's dabble, dive & duck in Boule.

CHORUS

Notes

The word "swapping", repeatedly used in the chorus, is a now-obsolete use from Middle English meaning "striking" (as in "what a remarkably big duck that is!").

The identity of King Edward in the song is not known; there have been four English monarchs of that name.

The reference to "Jove turn'd a Swan" refers to the mythical incident in which the Roman god Jupiter transformed himself into a swan to seduce Queen Leda.

Not surprisingly, the Victorians disapproved of the reference to the mallard's "swapping tool of generation", mightier than any other in "ye wingged Nation" (of birds). They dropped this verse from the song but, to the delight of traditionalists, it was restored in the 2001 ceremony.

The last two lines are an invitation to the singers to retire to a convenient watering-hole. They could be paraphrased as saying "in much the same way as the Mallard dives into a pond, let us dive into a drinking bowl."

See also

• The Hedgehog Song by Terry Pratchett et al