"Professional Widow" is a song written by American-born singer and songwriter Tori Amos. It was originally a harpsichord-driven punk rock dirge included on her 1996 album Boys For Pele but it got international popularity after being remixed by techno musician Armand van Helden. The remixed single (entitled "The Star Trunk-Funkin' Mix") hit number one on the charts.

The original song, an in-your-face piece supposedly accusing Courtney Love of the murder of her husband, Kurt Cobain, had been edited down to the lines "Honey/Bring it close to my lips" and "It's gotta be big." Even though it has been widely claimed that Tori Amos wrote this song about Courtney Love and her doomed husband, Tori has stated in numerous interviews that this is definitely not true.

The song was then further remixed by artist Mr. Roy , spawning an entirely new CD-single of remixes that again took to the charts.