Relationship counseling is the process of counseling the parties of a relationship in order to try and reconcile differences.

The term relationship has a vast conceptual and interpreational significance. It ranges from the family unit relationships (e.g. parent-children, husband-wife, siblings) to other inter-personal relationships such as those at the work-place and professional relationships (e.g. doctor-patient and lawer-clint).

Before the the relationships between the individuals can begin to be understood, it is important for all to recognise and acknowledge that each of the individuals involved have an unique personality, background and value systems which they adhere to. Institutional and societal variables like the social, religious], group and other collective factors which shape a person's nature, character and behaviour. It is intrinisically beneficial for all the individuals to interact with other and with society at large with the least confilict possible.

Occasionally the realtionships get 'strained' which means that they are not functioning at the optimum extent. There are many possible reasons for this, including ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed etc. Often it is an interaction between two or more factors, and frequently it is not just one of the people who are involved that exhibts such trains.

Some say the only viable solution to the problem of setting these relationships back on track is to reorient the individuals' perceptions - how one looks at or responds to situations. This implies that they make some fundamental changes in their attitudes - much easier said than done. The next step is to adopted conscious structural changes to their inter-personal relationships.

The duty and function of a relationship counsellor is to listen, understand and facilitate a better understanding between those involved. The basic principles involved are

• non-judgement on any of the issues or incidents narrated to them as counsellor.
• Confidentiality of the persons being given the counselling.

A successful counsellor is someone who has a mature and balanced state of mind and disposition, who can place themself in the shoes of those they are counselling, and the ability to respect their opinions, thoughts, feelings and more importantly emotions.

After evaluating the facts as they are narrated, a realistic, practical solution can be given, individually at first if this is beneficial, and then jointly to encourage the participants to give their best efforts at reorienting their relationship with each other. It has to be remembered that the change in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses and actions of the individuals. In previous times, and in many less technologically advanced cultures around the world today, the insitution of family, the village or group elders fulfills the role of relationship counselling. With increasing modernisation or westernisation in many parts of the world and the perceptible shift towards nuclear families, the old support structures are no longer there and the need for relationship counselling is much more than ever. In western society the trend is is towards trained relationship counsellors who are often volunteers who wish to help others, and are trained by either the Government or social service institutions to help those who are in need of counseling. Many communities and government departments have their own team of trained voluntary or professional relationship counsellors. Similar services are operated by many universities and colleges, often staffed by volunteers from among the student peer group.

See also

• ChildLine
• Samaritans
• Marriage guidance