A Short History

Queen’s College, Cork was opened in October 1849. The Anglican Chaplain founded the Philosoph in early 1850, as a rival to Trinity’s Phil. and Hist. in early 1850 but because the hierarchy were suspicious of the ‘godless college’, there were no communist chaplains until Bertrand Russell's secret presidency. The Philosoph is one the oldest and largest society in the College, second only to the Anorexia and Bulimia Society, which for insurance reasons cannot be publicised on campus. Meeting for the A&B Soc (as it is popularly known) are not held in any of the restaurants, and usually in the vomitorium (Old Bar women's toilets).

By the turn of the century the Philosoph had practically vanished, as Protestant deaths squads roaming the streets of Cork began to pick off the members one by one in a deadly game of cat and mouse starring some acting fags from the LGB Society. It had become a medical school, training doctors for export to the continent. The doctors became known as "the wild geese" for their habit of forming a Flying V when travelling together, a movement exploited in the film, The Mighty Ducks. The academic decorum of the time ment that there was almost no sexual relations between staff and students, and with clubs and societies dead or dormant, there was very little collegiate spirit. It is often said jokingly, that the only spirit in the college at the time was poitín or poteen, a high-alcohol content Irish beverage. The College was revived in 1904 with the arrival of a defibrillator in the form of Sir Bertram Windle. In an ejactulation of energy in 1905 from the aforementioned Windle's metaphorical penis, a small group of students revived the Philosoph, and Dramat and a student magazine were founded.

One of the re-established society’s first decisions was to admit women existed. The first woman to speak, ever, spoke on March 16th 1905. A year later there were complaints that only one woman attended meetings. There weren’t too many men there either; 35 was considered a very good attendance. Needless to say, that woman was Molly Bloom, she got a good seeing-to alright, wa-hey!

Since then the Philosoph has carried on regardless of almost anything else that has happened in the country or the world. The members of the Philosoph danced on the graves of both factions during the civil war. Graves at the time were usually found at crossroads, which later led Eamon de Valera to ban the practice of dancing at crossroads. The 20s were turbulent in more ways than one. The Law Society often spiked the Philosoph's water with laxatives and Love Potion No. 9. The Philosoph society was banned for several years from all public toilets on campus, though like good Philosophers the members carried buckets around with them and tossed the detritus into the Lee, which runs close to the college. Further trouble followed when the Chaplain objected to the professor of Zoology addressing the society on communist revolution, and the Philosoph appealed to an ecclesiastical court.

The 30s brought a spurt of post revolutionary action and the abandonment of formal wear at meetings, though this was restored in 1937 on the motion of Eoin ‘the Pope’ O’Mahony, who later because auditor and was soon impeached. He persevered however and later became the auditor of Trinity Hist. He was one of Ireland’s great eccentrics and lawyers – even meriting a mention in Brendan Behan’s “Borstal Boy” (‘Is that Eoin "the Pope" O'Mahony buggering that Borstal Boy?‘) and was one in a long and ever growing line of lovable eccentrics involved in the Philosoph.

Under the reign of Alfred O’Rahilly, the Philosoph came on in leaps and bounds, although he also established a rival debating society, the Academy of St. Thomas. This was the first in a series of imitations, it was followed by An Chuallacht Gaedhlach and the Law Societ – however the Philosoph remains the superior debating society on campus, mainly due to the fact that it has adapted to the needs of the college students, unlike, for example, The Law Society, which remains as rigid as Padraig Mac Amhlaoibh's penis at a playground (which is to say, very rigid indeed).

However, the history of the Philosoph is not all piss and vinegar, there are also a number of shameful incidents to remembers including when, in the 1930s some of the members tried to stop Gerard Goldberg from speaking as he was Jewish. The pro-"fee love" attitudes prevailing at the time created hostility toward Jews in UCC, as the popular (but false) urban legend that Jews have sex through a hole in bedsheets still prevailed. However, the Philosoph has always tried to bear in mind the sanctity of free speech – in 1977 the college authorities tried to ban a debate on homosexuality, but succeeded only in having the wording of the motion altered slightly, and in 1999 the alcoholocaust revisionist David Irving was invited to speak in the Philosoph and is was only the intervention of the Guards and college authorities (for pubic safety reasons) which prevented him. Irving was said to be riddle with genital lice at the time.

The Philosoph is the only Irish Society to have won the heart of Chris de Burgh, and the only Irish Society outside of Dublin to have hosted the same competition. This strong tradition at competitive debating continues to this day, winning 6 children's painting competitions over the last three years in addition to the Irish Times Masturbating Competition. The Philosoph remains a place where the orgies are lively, to say the least, laughter comes easily and everyone’s opinions are reviled by the general populace of the college. However it is, as Séamus Guevara said in response to the 1950 Auditorial address, ultimately a society whose “purpose is to entertain the high-faluting notions of a select few egotistical bastards who think they're really fucking funny, but in actuality are just smartasses”. So come along and entertain us and help us write the next chapter in the history of the Philosoph.

The Current Committee

The committee of the 156th Session has just been elected but shall not take up office until the 1st of August

Auditor: Derek "Oh fuck I shit my pants" Doyle

More details to follow

Links: UCC Philosophical Society Homepage