I agree to multi-license all my contributions, with the exception of my user pages, as described below:

If you want to leave me messages, please do. I promise I'll respond.

An edit counter, which I blatantly stole from J3ff. Sorry, dude.

To see any of my articles which made the front page, please visit /Front page articles.

"They will answer to the King of Gondor" -- Elrond, from "The Return of the King" (how dorky of me)

In the beginning, in the First Age of Arda, a moron was born among Men. After realizing that he truly was a moron, the Valar banished him from Middle-earth, not to return until an online encyclopedia existed where he could spend his entire frickin' day (OK, not quite) editing and creating articles. He has returned. And he is to become...Dale Haines, the future King of Gondor. I reveal his name because nowhere on the interconnected network of computers, or "internet", will you find anything about him. Seriously. I've tried. Find nothing you will about an 18 year old loser from Maryland.

Why "The King Of Gondor"? What idiot would pick that name?

Well, I really like the Lord of the Rings movies. They are the only movies I swore on pain of death that I would see while they were in theatre. When I made the decision to become a user in August 2004, I thought "What should I base my name off of?". Of course, the LOTR popped into my head. And the thought sequence went something like this:

Lord Of The Rings --> Good vs. Evil --> Men vs. Orcs
Mordor = Orcs --> Gondor = Men --> Gondor = Kingdom
Aragorn = King of Gondor --> Aragorn = Really cool

I could have used my real name, but "Dale Haines" doesn't have the same feel as someone calling you the King. Do I need serious mental help? Probably.

History of the Idiot

I discovered Wikipedia one day in April 2003 when looking up something on Yahoo. I didn't think much about the site until about September, when I was researching for a project in my computer class, and the site came up again. So I began exploring the site and reading the articles, and I was oblivious for about a month to the fact that anyone could edit articles. I thought it was something on par with Encarta. I was just amazed that this encyclopedia had an article on Joanna Dark, while Encarta was so lacking in useless trivial crap that no one would use except me. I slowly began a transition from using Encarta for my assignments (October 2003) to splitting my time between the two (about February 2004) to the point were I abandoned Encarta fully (April 2004; I used Encarta one last time for a research paper in my SAT Prep class). After just goofing around (contributing) for a few months, and after getting tired of constantly recieving messages on random IP addresses, I decided to get an account on August 10, 2004. And thus the Kingdom of Gondor was renewed again. (I really do need help.)

A timeline of edit history

• 1st notable edit as IP -- April 7, 2004 on Robert Gould Shaw
• 1st edit as KoG -- August 9 , 2004 on Southern Democrats
• 10th edit -- August 12, 2004 on List of recurring characters from The Simpsons
• 50th edit -- August 27, 2004 on 1913
• 100th edit -- September 2, 2004 on Baltimore riot of 1861
• 250th edit -- September 15, 2004 on Current events
• 500th edit -- October 29, 2004 on 2004 Osama bin Laden video
• 750th edit -- December 11, 2004 on User talk:Ram-Man

Articles I've written or given major edits

• Article title - what I did (if blank, then I created it), date, if I used an IP address, and anything else I want to say. Boldfaced articles have made it to the front page.

• Fedor von Bock -- massive edit & expansion on April 7, 2004 as 138.88.9.105
• Zero One -- created on May 15, 2004 as 141.156.182.228; my first article, my own, my...precioussss
• Southern Democrats -- July 27,2004 as 141.156.32.166
• Western Maryland -- August 28, 2004
• Baltimore riot of 1861 -- September 2, 2004
• Fathers 4 Justice Buckingham Palace protest -- September 13, 2004
• 1989 Deal barracks bombing -- September 22, 2004
• 2004 oil crisis in Nigeria -- October 12, 2004
• Testudo -- January 11, 2005

• I am also a frequent contributor to Current events, and a rather infrequent one to Template: In the news.

• Again, to view articles which made the front page, see /Front page articles

Some more about me, plus my "polictical views" (sic)

Home: Laurel, Maryland, USA

Date of birth: June 16, 1986

Politics: Libertarian Left (Economic: Left [-3.62]; Social: Libertarian [-2.92]) Find out what you are!

Religion: Unitarian Universalist

Interests: U.S. politics, war history (WWII, American Civil War, and Vietnam especially)

Favorite pastime: Homestar Runner. I'm not a sports fan.

Opinion of George W. Bush

Besides the bungled economy, the we-were-lied-to-about-it-and-now-everyone-hates-us Iraq war, the taken-less-seriously-than-it-should-be war in Afghanistan, the support of that stupid constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, the mangling of the English language, and the far right-wing agenda he has imposed will impose on the 48.38% 48% who gave the other guy the plurality voted for the so-called wishy-washy Taxachusetts liberal wiener, he's done pretty well.

• Update -- OK, apparently something called an "election" took place on November 2, 2004, and George was re-elected with 51% of the popular vote. So all changed text is now in boldface.

This would be the man who said "You know, I truly am not that concerned about him [ Osama bin Laden ]". You know, he shouldn't be worried. I mean, Osama only killed 3,000 of my fellow citizens on September 11, 2001. Why worry about apprehending a cold blooded murderer when Saddam has much "better targets"? (Wolfowitz and Rumsfeld are morons)

Opinion of Tony Blair

Do we have a Bush-hater here?

I'm not actually a Bush-hater. I'm anti-Bush. There is a difference. Bush-haters are opposed to anything he does, whether for bad or worse, and are opposed to him personally. I am opposed to the vast majority of his policies, but I do not dislike him as a person. He's probably a nice guy. It's just that that nice guy persona covers up the fact he's screwed America up for God-knows-how-long.

Please note: I may be not be George Bush's biggest fan, but I will never let that influence my edits. However, if a good news story comes out that thrashes him, I'd be the first to put it in current events. But it would be from a reputable source like CNN. Not from that crappy CNS News (Kerry supports Saddam!), or the blatantly liberal Common Dreams (New report says Bush is a moron!).

I ask for sympathy from my fellow Wikipedians from across the seas. You may not like anything he does, but I have to live with him. Everything he does affects me. And everything he does makes others hate us common Americans more. If I ever visit another country, I'd have to say I'm from Canada so no one shoots me.

Random thought

I'm a Democrat. But if Ahnold ever ran for president, I'd vote for him.

OK, that phrase has been on my page for the longest time, and after thinking it over, I've concluded that any liberal who finds it morally sound to support GW must have a few screws loose; hence, I've withdrawn my support of the crazy man. Plus, he said he admires Hitler. That's a bit of a problem for this Gentile.